Myself, as I see it, plus a random section

Haven't blogged in awhile, too lazy. But today I suddenly had the urge to do so, once again. (typing shit on my awesome Dell)

So, about me, I don't think many people really understand me all that well. Well, at least I don't think they do. Maybe they know me better then I know myself, I obviously don't know. I'm really different to what I appear to be - a complete dumbass who can't do shit, with no intelligence what so ever. I try to appear to not care about the things that I care for most, maybe to attract attention - I really don't know. I know that I can work-things-out really well if I want to, but most things are just ridiculous to me (yes, especially school). As for people I love, I pretend to not care at all. That girl, who I almost see everyday, makes me wanna smile when I see her, but instead I try to put on a normal face, or even a bored face (you can see me, I can't).

Everyday at school, I probably look like the most relaxed person in the place, with no worries. That smiling face I try to keep on to cover my true feelings is just not fitted right, and it's falling right now. School pressure = Zero, when I open-up my front door every afternoon, hoping that nothing goes wrong today. Btw, for those who thinks I'm talking about family abuse here, I'm not. Mum, from a heart-breaking divorce in 2004, just can't exactly trust her partner anymore. Dad, who is 8 years younger then mum, has a family behind him, slowly pulling him away from my home. It's not hate here, it's fear.

I'm just gonna move-on here, 'cause I don't wanna have a mental breakdown anytime soon. So yeah, I got friends which I trust to have my back when I need it, so nothing to worry about.

As many may know, I moved to sit with different people recently, hoping to be accepted FULLY. Everything was going great till recently... nah not gonna talk bout it. Operation on Tuesday, then rest for at least two days. Really wish I could go to school on Friday to see who I would call friends, and, of course, her.

Really tired, going to friends house tomorrow. Maybe I should get some sleep.

Why do I always blog at night?